bookish dreamer

Like seriously, went bowling Friday night to celebrate a friend's birthday and got the lowest score, and our high scorers were in the ~100 points range. I don't think I broke 50? For *any* of the games we played. I do know the logic of bowling, but my fingers are too thick to fit into the holes properly. [insert a holes/fingering joke here now if you're so inclined... it seems appropriate] So I ended up mostly dropping the ball instead of actually throwing it. I spent most of one game throwing granny style with both hands just so my wrist didn't get entirely thrown out of whack. Still fun though - giggling and mugging for each other, celebrating every single pin being knocked down, and marveling at the computer graphics (we can now pick exciting under the sea theme games so there are cute little fish animations adding up our scores).

Spent last night with a friend who is trying to process her mom's cancer diagnosis - she just spent two weeks with her family while her mom had emergency surgery for a cyst, and it was the worst news on the biopsy - it's metastasized. Twenty years ago I think cancer terminology entered into the common vocabulary, but it's weird to think that fifty years ago there wouldn't be these words that have meaning for us now: cyst, benign, biopsy, lymph notes, metastasized, chemo, and the rest. Of course she's trying to process and it's all uneven, because like so many of us with family her relationship with her parents is conflicted, and with her larger family it's confusing, and with her sibling it's difficult. And part of the reason why we're such good friends is that we both have a savior complex a mile wide and a couple of miles deep. There's something about being there that we're both so sure makes all the difference (and it sometimes can, because it's family, and we understand family in almost instinctual ways -- but that sometimes isn't the most healthy move, for the family or for us). Anyway, we sat and talked and pet the puppy, and went for a long dinner where we caught up. It was really good. Maybe not as much processing as she could use or need, but maybe it was enough to give her a space to be away, and to smile for an hour, and to just breathe.

Oh, and to rehang the party lights. I wanted them moved so they'd actually hang over my little cafe table outside and it only took me (and friend, since I needed one person to hang and one person to hold the strings) almost a month to do it!

But the thing that's making me really smile the most right now is that I bought myself an adult chair! If I've done this right you should be able to click it and see the beautiful picture from the website. I love it. I keep petting it. I can't stop sitting in it, either, which I know - that's the point, right? But also makes me realize how much I sit in one place in my living room.

What about you guys? Do you have a living room and you move around from couch to chair? Or are you like me and you have one chair (ok, I now have three chairs, but one is broken down, the other is the housemate's chair, and the third is my new chair) and you pretty much stay in that chair all the time? Searching my memory, my stepmom has "her" space on the couch that she's had for years...and my mom certainly has had her favorites that she stuck to. So at least I come by it via the parents, even if no one else has their "spot" in their living room.

eta: dear gods I originally started this post thinking I was going to wax nostalgic over files I found on my backup drive, meander through my job prospects and what my writing plans are for the week, and blather about being afraid of moving... the best laid plans, eh?

I don't often curse, but holy shit you guys - I just managed to edit myself from 15 pages to 32 pages today!!!!

Admittedly this is the combination of a bunch of older things that I wrote for my qualifying exam responses, and then another piece that I wrote for my prospectus that I jettisoned because it was too much information at the wrong time (but never delete anything, for it will come in handy, i say!) and YES. In other words, I'm ahead of my 5-page (edited or written)/day page count goal. I was hoping by this point to be at 20 pages. Maybe I was ready to write this thing after all!

All this after interviewing three possible prospective new housemates - I'm in the market for a new one, since my current one has run out of money and hasn't found a job. She's moving back to New York at the end of the month. There's no super rush since she's paid up till the end of the month, but it would make her happier to have someone come in earlier, and I wouldn't mind the process of getting used to a new housemate. So far only one woman has applied, which is weird, but there's definitely two possible candidates that I feel good about, so that's something.

And I did succumb to the whole Star Wars thing a bit and am (re)watching the movies. In Episode I - Episode VI order. (of course I started late in the day, and you know, did other stuff, so I'm only on Episode II) I am reminded that there is very little that is good about the early episodes. But it has made grading papers (which I'm also doing - got about 10 done today) bearable. The bad dialogue is just about as bad as my student's writing.

( and onto the meme thing: what I'm afraid of )

And not in a fun 80s song kind of way. It's been regular temperatures here in la la land during the day (well, regular september temps anyway - 90s, but mid 90s ish) but for the last couple of days it hasn't cooled off at night.

this is *really* problematic. it's the good part about living in a dessert without air conditioner - as long as you can hold out until evening, when usually the temps drop below 70 at the least, and sometimes into the low 60s, the daytime heat is bearable.

Except the last four days it hasn't. and so our airconditioned apartment is turning into a heat trap. My housemate actually fled for a friend's ac-controlled apartment! i would too, but i'm kidn of an idiot and sometimes buckle into things i shouldn't, and besides, if the dog has to suffer through it i feel like i should too.

So instead i've got fans on, i'm sticking washcloths in the freezer to freeze and use as cooling towels, and basically both me and dog are sort of brain dead. Which is hilarious because i'm trying to get through 10 pages of japanese a day.

Which I'm using a pomodoro extension to do (thank you astolat)!

(and there's my timer - must go!)

I spent a wonderful week at my Dad's, though it was a bit more of a marathon than a relaxing week (since apparently my idea of relaxing does not necessarily include getting up at 7:30 am to make an 8:30 am water aerobics class - but I did, every week day I was there!). I had a ton of fun, and for the first time in a while both my parents there were in really good spaces and so we had the kind of talks I've come to treasure deeply where we don't shy away from the scary stuff. These conversations are good, like lancing a boil or something, even though a little painful having to admit things hurt or things weren't fun, or whatever, still feeling better after working through it. Oh dear gods, sorry, hopefully that was slightly articulate. Anyway, I got to have those one on one conversations with both my dad and my stepmom at different times, but on the back porch of the house in the quiet when voices go a little meditative. My stepmom and I are pretty emotionally similar in a lot of ways, and really this time for me the best part was getting to tell her that I was worried when I went to visit earlier in the summer about her not being particularly happy, and that I was relieved that essential spark that so delights me about her was back (she's gone vegan and done some other things and she's feeling a thousand times better, and it shows with both her and my dad). And I never want to forget being out on that same porch in the evening having a much shorter (but no less meaningful) conversation with my father, who in his own way was telling me he's proud of me. He talked about how what I'm doing is something no one else in our family really has - the getting of the phd - and that mentioning of the difference is his way of pointing out that i'm doing something good in his eyes. Made me happy.

Also me and my stepmom managed to do our part for the failing american economy (or, as gray_ghost put it, 'they probably took pity on you since you don't have any money') and i was taking new clothes shopping, to get my hair cut, and my toes and nails done. I put on one of my new dresses the next day and my dad grunted (such is his way) that he liked this new one. When I asked how he knew it was new, he pointed out with a sardonic laugh that he'd seen all my other clothes so many times he could recognize what was in my closet and what had just been added to it.

So, after that, normally I'd drive back to LA and turn into a closeted pumpkin for a couple of days - reading old fanfic, watching some bad tv, and taking the dog on a walk, but not much else.

Instead, though, a friend of mine was in town doing some consulting work on a site and so she came to visit the same night I got back! We went to dinner that first night, then came back home and caught up with the first couple of episodes of True Blood. Friday she was back out at her work site, while I ran errands and got some of the tasks on my mental to do list finished; we saw Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter (which was its own brand of hilarious) that night. And then yesterday spent the day watching the first season of Spartacus while preparing for a party since some of my friends who were out of town when I ABD'd wanted to celebrate since they were back. Thus, well, Saturday night = party. Today we went to the Getty and wandered around the gardens and a couple of wings, and now, well, frankly, I'm pooped.

We were talking about going up to Griffith Park tonight to do the planetarium (because planetariums are awesome, hello!) but since she's taking a nap right now I may suggest postponing that until tomorrow night.

Oh gods, tomorrow. Tomorrow I start summer school and oh dear gods i really wish i didn't have to. but, i do, so today is my last day for having to moan about *having to go* (i make no promises about not moaning about things like the damn workload, because it's not going to be light). It's a rotten schedule since it takes about an hour to get across town, i'm going to be carpooling with co-student, and i have to talk to her at 7:45 am.

I. am. not. good. with. mornings.

Actually, the truth is I'm great with mornings as long as I don't have to talk to people until at least an hour after I wake up. If I can get up, get some coffee, go outside, check email, get in the car, listen to the radio on my way to school, then I am GREAT after all that. But most of the summer, since the time I naturally tend to wake up is about 9 am, I'm going to be forcing myself to wake, but I will inevitably snooze until the last minute, and I will then be jamming what should be an hour's worth of waking up into something like 20 minutes of time, and be carpooling with this woman so we can save money and have to *blerg* talk to her *blerg*. I would be displeased if I was doing this with anyone, frankly. Even my mom learned not to talk to me in the mornings during highschool (and the lesson still hasn't worn off 20 years later).

school. oh well.

he has no candle etiquette. I bet you didn't even realize there was candle etiquette, but there is. Let me tell you:

a) when your housemate leaves three candles by the front door with matches next to them, don't move all three deeper into the house.
b) when your housemate shares her candles with you, don't forget to thank her for them.
c) when you take a shower during the day, just leave the bathroom door open for sunlight instead of wasting candles taking a shower in the COMPLETE dark (since your bathroom has no windows)
d) when your housemate shares her candles with you, don't use ALL the big fat long taper ones, leaving her with the tea candles.

the other thing you might consider not doing? using the freezer to store your dinner because it still remains cool (versus fridge), and opening and closing it three or four times to get to your leftovers.

(all this brought to you by my irritation my block STILL doesn't have power, even though the blocks on either side of us do... want to know when xmas lights are irritating? when you can't plug in your phone to charge or turn on the heater because it's electric)

am currently at the coffee bean, enjoying their civilized internet access for 2 hours before they kick me out. at least the city crew finally started work on the lines up the street today, but it is slow going since transformers blew. and more winds are expected tonight. such joy.

The menu worked out so amazing I want to go and do everything over again. But the fun of holiday cooking is getting to explore other things, so possibly not?

( all the dishes and links to the recipes )

(and then, when we had everything again the next day, we also did orange-cranberry sauce!)

And, a Turkey Day Picspam:


( the four ladies of thanksgiving invite you in )

As you may have noticed from the image up there (and the pics) I got to celebrate my turkey day with elizabuffy & my mom & amber! We had an amazing time - lots of eating, lots of (slightly unplanned) car riding, a planetarium show, an awesome silent movie, a bbc sherlock marathon, and seriously amazing company. Sadly EB & Amber took off this morning for other parts, but I get to keep mom for a couple more days. My brain is offline enough that I can't come up with the perfectest words to express how awesome the entire couple of days were, so you'll have to just take my word for it. For all this? I'm thankful.

*hugs you all*

But I've got 'em.

Ok, so, first?  Good things in my life, things that have gone on in the last 7 days:

• Maija came over tonight and bought me yummy vegetarian thai food and we watched True Blood and had an enjoyable, sane (mostly, but will get to that) evening
• I got to work with 3rd graders today to figure out how to learn more about local landmarks via the web and had a good time with it, even if it took a lot of energy (I worked with three kids, and it really is like herding cats)
• I managed to get my laundry done on a monday night - yay for clean sheets
  
• My advisor wrote this kick ass "you should give her $$ for expenses" letter in support of my recent conference journey
• I went to Griffith Observatory with a friend on Sunday and we actually caught one of the planetarium shows (yay student ID price!) and it was awesome in a super duper geeky way
• I took the dog to the dog park and met a Chinese Mastiff puppy that is going to look just like this when he grows up (and is bigger than Domino now)
• I was actually interested in doing art and did a banner for eurydice72 (finally beginning to fulfill some of my help_pakistan bidders/winners)
• I started to think about how I'm going to decorate my place when the evil housemate is out
• I got a pretty decent fridge for $200 delivered on the morning I wanted it.

Ok, so keep that in mind (trust me, I'm trying, really trying), because tonight I came home to find Asha had broken into my room through my window in order to circumvent the lock i'd put on the door

( yes, this shit isn't over yet )

I came out from class yesterday to find my car had been towed.  Silver lining?  Took the bus home, which I've been meaning to do for a while.  Left the house at 9:30 am today to go to the sherrif's office to get the form that would allow me to pay the towing company the towing fees and get my car out of hock.  Silver lining? Housemate was willing to drive me to do all this.

( Sadly, I was misinformed. )

But finally, finally, after I almost broke down and cried, they were able to find the car, give me the form I needed, and the housemate and I drove to the payment center for the tow, and then drove across the city again to get to the actual yard where they were keeping my car.

Silver lining?  um.... my boy!housemate is even more awesome than I thought, because he actually never got impatient and drove me around from 9:30 am to almost 6 pm without complaint.  And this problem has put the housing problem into total perspective -- what housing problem? lol.  And my mom is going to help me with actual payment so I will not have to eat ramen for the next two months.

Long day though.