dear housemate,

Please, for the love of all you hold dear, do what you said you would and get the damn vacuum cleaner fixed.  I feel as if i am drowning in dog hair. When I asked you if you'd do it 'this week' on Monday I was hoping for something other than 'sunday, the last day of this week'.  While you're at it, please attempt to clean the paint off the driveway that has been there for two months since it's my deposit that will suffer for it.  Oh, and it's great that you wash your own dishes - could you also put them back in the cabinet?

lovingly yours,
kate


dear japanese teacher,

Yes, I know, my japanese sucks. But why didn't you ask me about the linguistic stuff i studied this semester??? I had boned up on that terminology so I would have been able to talk about IT comprehensively, but the whole 'what did you read? what was it about?' question caught me completely off guard. I completely forgot how to explain things in part because you asked me to explain the plot of a novel to you .... and the novel is one I would have difficulty describing in English.  At least I know the test I took today will mean that after this summer I will look like a rocket scientist (in my comprehension and deployment of Japanese) when I get done with studies this summer.

regretfully yours,
kate


dear fanfic person who hates fanfic,

Don't hate on the fanfic ok?  It is not illegal.  And even if 90% of it is what you might consider 'bad' it still has a place and meaning for the people writing it (and often for those who read it too - because i firmly believe every fic has a reader) that is about more than simply 'craft' or 'story lessons' or pilliaging off of someone elses' work.   Please consider looking at essays / discussions around the notion of 'transformative works'.  Fanfic has a place in the world, does good beyond sharpening people's writing skills or providing them crutches so they don't have to create their own characters.  It really does, promise.  Only then will I be ready for the conversation you want to have.

thanks,
kate


dear department,

Thank you for the money you are going to give me for summer.  It is awesome.  Please, could you just send it to me in writing so I know for sure that I'm going to get it?

yours in joy,
kate

dear advisor,

Wow, ok, we've been getting along so much in the last week that I will never actually bring up to you why you pissed me off.  Thanks for that.  Could you just be like this all the time?  Wait, also, now that I'm comfortable with this you're not going to be at the University anymore.  *pout*

oh joy,
kate

dear deans of college,

Thanks for your letter telling me that you read my letter (well, the letter from all the grad students who wanted to try to keep my advisor).  I am SO glad to know you have committees that do faculty hiring, and that you want to keep the lobying for individual hires to a minimum to keep things fair.  I guess I should be pleased that you encouraged me to enjoy my time completing my PhD, but somehow it came across as a little sinister.

humbly yours,
kate